Well, I only saw it fitting to write and let you all know that #1 on the list of things I "have not done, but fully intend to do ASAP" is well under way. It has been
In all sincerity I am doing it....
because of him:
I was driving home from Albuquerque the other day, and it dawned on me, I want to quit smoking...I have wanted to for a long time. I have told myself that I would quit before I had smoked for 10 yrs (Nov. 30, 2010) will have been 10 years of smoking, and I have told myself and my little boy that I would quit for him. His second birthday is coming up 11/18 and I guess I couldn't think of any better gift for him. My best friend Alisha was heavy on my heart in this decision as well...she lost a battle with cancer 13 months ago, and how selfish am I to take even one breath for granted when our next breath isn't promised to us. I also realized that in order to justify having not quit for as long as I have not quit I have told myself I juuusssstttt can't do it. Well, I have faith in God and I decided just to trust that HE will help me do this and all of that determination coupled with the fact that cigarettes are 6.95 a pack, smoking is kind of embarassing in most situations, smoking is inconvenient, smoking makes you smell like, well, smoke all the time, smoking makes your sense of smell stink (which has really been noticable to me lately), smoking makes it harder to breath and thus harder to exercise and thus harder to loose weight...smoking is just so totally not cool. I have always felt like that addiction has come between God and I and I have always swept it somewhere and pretended like I didn't feel that way, but I am glad that it is not of issue any more. I cry when I think about how hard this is, it's been almost exactly 48 hours and it's not easy...but it will be so worth it. And in the mean time I will chew a lot of gum, drink a lot of coffee, make sure not to replace the cigarettes with calories when it's hard I will pray or love on my son or work on potty training or run around the block or do all of the above and I am sure it will get easier... but I know that I am not going back now. Thank you God for this miracle and for all of the miracles you have in store!